What a Girl Wants
by Euclid's child
Summary: Under the encouragement of Emmet and Jasper Edward decides to take advantage of the sudden amount of women throwing themselves at him, however with no experience things aren't going as well as he'd hoped. Desperate he confides in Bella and looks for advi
1. Chapter 1

**What a Girl Wants.**

Under the encouragement of Emmet and Jasper Edward decides to take advantage of the amount of women throwing themselves at him, however with no experience things aren't going as well as they should be. Desperate he confides in Bella and looks for advice so he won't lose face with the lads. Bella agrees to school him in the basics, but it ends up to be more than either of them anticipated.

Chapter one: The Lost Art of Tea Making

**EPOV**

"Come on Eddie, she's defiantly up for it man." Emmet whispered not so quietly to me while I waited for Jessica to win the struggle with the arms of her coat, I could have helped her but her boobs and I were having a staring competition. "Just say what we told you and don't forget to relax." Clapping me on the back he ran off to grab a taxi with Jasper.

Putting on my game face I helped Jessica button up her coat, she smiled at me from under her lashes as I brought my hands up to her face and cupped her cheek with my hand, bringing my other hand to rest on the small of her back. I smirked as she sucked in a breath from the line of soft kisses I made from her mouth to her ear. "Can I bring you home?" I asked gently. "Mmmmm yes please".

_Ok Edward calm down, you just need to walk her home, she'll ask you if you want tea, you say yes, and then you rock her world!. . . Unless she doesn't like tea, or doesn't have any . . . shite! Should I have brought my own teabags just in case? I only have condoms, what good are they in this situation? . . . Christ I can't do this, I can't do this. . . _

"Would you like to come in?"

_NO. . . I'd love a cup of tea though!_

"Sure."

_Alright man you're through the front door, she's well up for it just be confident and act like you know what you're_- "Oomph!"

_Hmmm I appear to be pressed against the door and getting attacked by a woman, cool!_

"Um- Jessica? Do you want to maybe go to your room or something?" She drew breath from peppering my neck, "No, I think here will do just fine." With that she captured my lips again and pulled me away from the front door, only to violently turn us around and slam herself against the door, pulling me closer to her. _Jesus she's practically writhing against me here and I haven't done anything Emmet taught me to yet!_

Unwrapping herself from her coat and throwing it on the ground without our lips parting, she began to push down on my shoulders, I ran my hand down her side to her thigh to bring her leg around my waist, but she stopped me. "No sweetie" she breathed, "I've heard too much about your _talents_ to miss this opportunity."Momentarily stunned, I smirked at her and kissed my way down her throat.

_SHITE! Oh brilliant! Great plan to have my 'talents' spread round the fuckin college like wildfire! What the hell am I going to do now? She's still pushing on my shoulders . . ._ getting to my knees in front of her I skimmed the backs of my hands up her legs beneath her dress to pull her knickers down. Throwing them aside I brought my hands slowly back up her thighs to roll up the end of her already indecent dress. _Oh God_! I now completely forever regret skipping every segment porn I've ever enjoyed past the eating her out bit. What the hell am I even looking at here?

"Stop teasing Ed" her voice startled me, until I realised I had been breathing heavily in bewilderment at her slit. Taking a deep breath and praying for a miracle I licked a line from bottom to top. "Mmmmm" Ok then, so that's what pussy tastes like, gross! However we have established licking up is good, stick to what you know, well now know.

Aright I'm doing well here five minutes in, at least and I must be getting somewhere. Although I feel like Dori from finding Nemo with "Just keep licking, just keep licking..." running through my head. "Seriously, Ed were you planning on making me come or are you finished messing around down there?" Guess I should start mixing it up a bit then, God I don't know how much longer I can stand this. "Just savouring the taste Jess" I replied hoping she would love that shit, and wouldn't notice the twisted face I was making. "Savour all you want on your way home sweetie, come on!" she gritted.

Ok business time. I bring one hand up and gently part her folds, trying to hide my gasp at the alien looking thing going on down here. Now I'm not a complete moron I know the logistics of what I wanted to accomplish here, but this is beyond a joke. Sliding my index finger up and down her wetness, I circled her entrance and slowly inserted my finger, and bringing my lips back to—

"What the fuck!" I was pushed to the ground by an angry looking Jessica, who was frantically pulling down her dress. "What in the name of God was that Edward? Seriously, do you really think just because you heard all about it from Mike that I'd really be up for THAT! We were going out for four _months_ before we even talked about it for fuck sake! Who the hell do you think I am?" She stood over me looking disgusted. "B-but Jessica you-"

"I don't want to hear it. Out!" She wrenched open the door as I scrambled of the floor to leave this mad woman. "And don't think you can try that shit with anyone else Cullen" she said slamming the door behind me.

I stood there by her door for an entire minute before I shook my head and made my own way home. What in the name of God was that about? Women really are crazy, what other 'talents' did she want me to perform for her, a fucking shoe shine? Making my way out of Bolton Street to my apartment I congratulated myself on my progress. Technically I was doing well really, at least I got to go home with her, maybe next time I should bring teabags, maybe there's something in tea that calms whatever the hell apparently gets into women in these situations.

Emmet and Jasper decided that I was wasting the golden opportunity I had been presented with this year by not fucking every girl who looked twice at me. Since I had gotten my braces off, finally, during the summer, and had started to come out of my shell a bit more, my options seemed to be endless. Having never done anything like this before I needed all the help I could get. Jasper was the college bicycle; a title he hopes is included in his degree. Emmet has been going out with Rosalie since they were in second year in school. All three of them are studying Business and Finance in DCU. We met last year during the fresher's week foam party, ending up locked into the gents of The Big Tree overnight, we've been friends ever since.

Emmet and Rosalie share an apartment beside mine and Bella's. Bella and I have been best friends ever since my mother brought me to visit her in hospital the day after she was born. We're both in Pat's a sister college of DCU, where Bella's studying English and History to teach in a secondary school, and I'm studying to be a primary school teacher. Most of the time during the weekend, Bella spends writing the greatest novel not yet known to man, or so I'm told.

By the time I get to Griffith Avenue I've made up my mind that tonight was a definite step forward in the awkward sexual aspect of my life, and feel almost ok, as I come to my apartment. As I walk in through the doorway I immediately notice Bella, bouncing up and town on the balls of her feet with a giant smile on her face as she talks to whoever's on the other end of the phone. "Ok Jess thanks for the warning. Bye."

"She called already? Jesus I've only just left!" I exclaimed as I plopped down on the sofa. "Warn you about what?" Bella smiled evilly and kneeled up beside me resting her elbow on the back of the sofa and cupping her cheek. "Well Ted, it seems I should be locking my door at night because apparently Edward Cullen is all about anal"

Oh!

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><p>AN Hey this is my first attempt at fanfic, be harsh, be very harsh! Hopefully I'll update every week, it gets good I promise, Edward's a fast learner :P


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Getting Weird Together

**EPOV**

_Keep your eyes on the telly. _Ignore Bella_. Take a sip of beer. _Ignore Bella_. Cross left ankle over right ankle. _Ignore Bella_. Tap left foot incessantly. _Ignore_ –  
><em>

"Bella, for God sake, just say something or stop STARING AT ME!" I shouted at the smug-faced Bella grinning evilly at me. "There are just no words for this." She breathed still staring at me amazed. "The Edward Cullen himself, prominent college student, respected hurler, over 600 points in his leaving cert, meitheal leader, and, most importantly, talented PIANIST, couldn't comprehend your basic fingering procedure!" Bella listed off before falling off the sofa laughing. "Ha ha! How's the hand holding up by the way?" She asked mock innocently, wiping the tears from her eyes.

After finding out why Jessica threw me unceremoniously out of her house, I meticulously scrubbed and disinfected my hand, and it was now soaking in a bowel beside me. "Fine" I gritted "Is that all Bella? I'm trying to watch something here." I replied gesturing with my beer bottle to the telly which was showing me how to get better pec definition in two weeks. "Oh I'm so sorry, surely your problems can all go away with more defined chest muscles" she said seriously focusing on the screen.

"Seems to work for Jake." I huffed back at her. "At least he can compensate in other ways, unlike some gobshites I know." Bella eyed me maliciously from the floor. "Right just cos I'm not a slut like Jake I have nothing to offer?" I scoffed leaning down to her. "Jake's not a slut! And what exactly do you have to offer Cullen? Besides unwanted arsehole invasions, cos I'm sure you'd have a much larger demographic to draw from with those _skills_" Bella retorted, with narrowed eyes, sitting up on her knees to bring our faces closer.

We stared at each other for a few moments, Bella furious that I'd insulted her 'special' friend, and me just furiously embarrassed. "Bitch" I whispered and tipped my bowel of water off the sofa and onto her face. "Argh! I'm infected with ass germs" Bella jumped up off the floor scrubbing her face with the bottom of her pyjama top. "Ew! Die evil scumbag!" she threw herself at me, pushing me down sideways along the sofa, and trying to strangle me. "Bella get off me!" I cried holding her wrists away from me as much as I could. "Make me bitch!"

We struggled for a few minutes until I managed to flip us around do that I was straddling Bella and holding her wrists above her head. "Ah! Cullen let me go!" Bella tried to lift herself off the sofa but I had her held down pretty tight. "Never!" I exclaimed victoriously back at her. I released her wrists and quickly darted my hands down to her sides, tickling her mercilessly. "NO!" Bella shouted so loudly I was afraid our neighbours would think we were killing each other. Not that we really would... unless seriously provoked.

I ceased my assault on Bella and flopped down on her heavily letting out a huge breath. "Omph! Christ I think you just flattened my boobs Ted." Bella complained, still breathing heavily from laughing so much. "Nah, they'll be fine." I reassured her. I nestled my head under her neck, and brought up one of my arms around the back of her head, laying my other arm beside her. She brought her arms and legs around me, pulling me even closer to her and rocking us as she patted my head. "Poooooooor Teddy." She drawled. "You'll be fine, it'll just take a while to learn really. It's not something you can master from studying books, unfortunately for you. I would've thought Jess would be a hard one to mess up though, she's constantly up for it."

"Thanks Bells that really makes me feel better." I moaned. "What the hell am I going to do? Seriously, I can't ask Emmet or Jasper for more detail, because they think I just need to brush up on my skills. Even watching porn is useless, It's not like you can actually see inside the guys mouth or anything, and it looks as boring as hell, down there working away for an unknown amount of time... and the taste! Bleugh!" I shuddered. "To be fair that was Jessica Ted, not all women are going to taste that way. Why did you down straight away though when you don't know what you're doing?"

"Alice has let it be known to everyone that I love eating out, Emmet asked Rose to help the cause apparently. You know Alice she doesn't care what people think of her anyway, and with her experience people really believe it when she says someone's good, but you'd know all about that" I sniggered. In the early weeks of our first year in college Bella was 'confused' about her sexuality and Alice had been there to help her decide. It may have taken a few months of sexual encounters with Alice but Bella made up her mind that she was straight. Personally I think that the rumours about the size of a certain Mr Blacks dick might have tipped the scale for her decision.

"Shush!" She shook me "Don't try to change the subject, I was trying to think of ways to help you know, but now my mind is wonderfully distracted." Bella laughed "I don't know Ted, just keep trying your best." She shrugged underneath me. "Try my best? Really? That's pure gold Bells thanks I don't know why I was approaching this half-arsed before. Now I'm sure to get laid!"

Both of us were stumped, well I was half stumped and half still toying with the idea of selling my virginity on teleshopping. I was halfway through scripting the advertisement in my head when Bella spoke up again. "Why don't you just ask Alice to help you out?" "But I don't like Alice that way; she's really nice but just not my type." "Well it's not like you'll have much choice Jessica lets it be known that she was practically almost anally raped" I pushed myself up quickly to look down at her. "What? I did not! Did she say that?" Bella grinned "Not in so many words, but it probably will be by tomorrow knowing her."

"Fantastic!" Bella brought her arm up to scratch my head again comfortingly. "Don't get so bogged down, everyone's first sexual experiences are awkward or embarrassing in some way, once you're more confident you'll be fine." She smiled up at me.

"Thank you. It's just the experience part I have to get first" I mused. I closed my eyes for a moment enjoying the feeling of Bella running her fingers through my hair unconsciously, making me sleepy. "Bella?" I asked tentatively, still keeping my eyes closed. "Mmmhmm?" "Will you help me?" I whispered and opened my eyes to gauge her reaction. "I'm trying my best here!" She said looking up at me puzzled. "No Bella, I mean, you said yourself, I need more experience, and well I don't want Emmet and Jasper to find out I'm still a virgin and can't think of anyone who would be able to keep a secret, or someone who I could trust more than you to help me with this and ... well... say something Bells"

"I ...don't... know" At least she looked like she was thinking about it. "Won't it be weird?" "I know the answer to that as much as you do, but if it does get weird we don't have to do anything." I replied still feeling unsure about it myself. I put my head back underneath hers to avoid looking at her while she was thinking it over. We had been friends all our lives, we had kissed before but never romantically, but at the same time we hadn't exactly acted like siblings, despite our mischievous behaviour. It would defiantly be a different path to our relationship that we'd never really discussed before.

A few minutes later she decided "OK. We'll try and see if it's weird. If not we can continue, and I'll give you a crash course in the female body and all its mystery" "Really? Are you sure? I don't want you to do something you're not comfortable with." I pushed myself back up on my elbows to so I could see her. "I'm sure, don't worry." She smiled reassuringly. "Thanks Bells... So how will we find out if it's weird or not?"

She studied my face for a few seconds and then brought her hands up to frame my face, rubbing her thumbs across my cheeks she said "Like this" and slowly brought my face down toward hers. Mesmerised I couldn't close my eyes as my lips touched hers; she pressed her lips firmly against my top lip as my lips cushioned her bottom one. We kissed again for a few moments until suddenly, as though our bodies knew what to do, our tongues ventured out at the same time and we were on fire.

Bella fisted her hands in my hair and let out a deep moan, as I brought my hand up her side and along her arm up to hold her neck, as our tongues were trying to claim each other's mouth. I could feel my dick growing harder as we pushed against each other, Bella's legs locking behind my back and pushing me into her with her feet. I ground against her as we broke apart for air, but continued to kiss her jaw and down her neck breathing heavily.

"Edward! God ...that feels so g-good" Sill grinding my now rock hard cock against her I captured her lips again with desperate need. We were both sweating now, our bodies seeking out pleasure from one another, as we mindlessly pushed against each other. Panting into each other's open mouth now, I opened my eyes to see Bella staring intently up at me "Please E-Edward ... Mmmmm...so close" she managed to get out as I pushed my cock harder against her centre. "Come on Bella, I can't... " I pushed myself into her once more "Ungh!... oh ... Bella" I collapsed onto her for the second time tonight, only this was far more satisfying. Panting I kissed up her neck to her lips and kissed her once more before sitting up.

"Weird for you?" I asked nonchalantly, as she stood up. "Nope" I grinned, slightly smug knowing I did something right tonight at least. "Now that we know it's not weird, we can get started on your first lesson tomorrow." "And what will that be Ms. Swan?" I asked wiggling my brows. "Well from tonight's experiment, how to wait until your partner has climaxed before you smother her."

Oh!

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><p>AN Don't feel too bad for Bella just yet! First lemon, please review!


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